6 Common Struggles Today's Teens Face (and how therapy can help)
We see all kinds of articles about teens and mental health, but they're often written solely from a "clinical perspective."
Teens today have a unique perspective and their own way of phrasing things. And we want to address 6 things we hear a lot in sessions so that if you see your teen struggling with any of these, you know how to reach out for help.
Therapy for teens is specific, and not every therapist can or does work with teenagers. Below are common teen struggles and the things they say, along with how therapy can help:
1. in person and online bullying - "Don't take my phone away" * Kids can be cruel, there's no 2 ways about it. In the world of social media and smart phones, we now worry about our kids both at school and online. Teens today deal with a variety of struggles and can sometimes feel as though they're a "target." Because they're constantly "plugged in," they feel like they have to know what's being said at all times and can get sucked into negativity very easily. Therapy can help provide a space where you teen can feel like they have support and no one has to know. It can also teach them how to set boundaries, improve their self esteem and how to address an issue.
2. worrying if their friends like them - "No one likes me" * The social part of school is sometimes the biggest for a teen. The pressure to fit in, be liked and not feel like an outcast has been a struggle for decades - it's definitely not new but it doesn't take away the stress it can cause. Therapy helps teach a teen communication skills, assertiveness and tools to help them increase confidence.
3. suicidality or hopelessness - "I can't do this" * A lot of times, the life of a teen can feel lonely. When they're struggling with friends, school, family, sports and everything else, it can cause them to feel alone and helpless. And because they tend to keep things to themselves, it can be difficult for parents to see the signs. Therapy can provide a place to have "tough convos," address underlying mental health issues and ensure there is a plan for safety.
4. a sense of sadness - "I' don't know what's wrong" * Most teens will admit they experience a range of emotions, and sometimes fluctuations that "come out of nowhere." However, when they start to express feeing "numb" or sadness starts to last for weeks at a time, it can be a sign of depression. Therapy offers a space for teens to explore all of these emotions, the thoughts that are constantly running through their minds, and address additional symptoms. A therapist who works with teens will have knowledge of local referrals such as psychiatrists.
5. keeping up with expectations (from every direction ... parents, school, sports, etc) - "I have so much to do" * Parents, school, sports, coaches, home... it's a lot. Not to mention the pressure they put on themselves! Without proper support, trying to meet all these demands can feel overwhelming and cause a teen to sometimes either pull back completely or work to be an overachiever - both of which can cause other issues. A therapist can help them learn to organize, balance their tasks and also discus expectations with parents (and school too, if necessary) so the teen feels more capable and can work to their potential instead of floundering under the pressure.
6. being a teen is tough! - "You don't understand" * The teen years are years of so much growth, learning, and decisions. Therapy can help a teen process through the things that may or may not be in their control, and allow them space to express themselves (without judgment) during a time when they're trying to figure out who they are and navigate All The Things.
How to talk to your teen about therapy
We want to first acknowledge that many teens these days have become proactive and will ask their parents if they can talk to someone.
But if your teen is resistant or they keep saying they're "fine," here are some ways to approach the subject:
1. Try to talk to your teen in a low pressure environment. Talk to them when you're out for a walk, at a neutral place in the house or at a time of day when they seem the least stressed. Teens are impulsive and emotional, and if you catch them in a stressful moment they are less likely to be receptive.
2. Go online first and look up therapy for teens in your area. Having a few bios or websites to show them may get you a little further. Talking to your teen about therapy may bring up some emotions for them, but if they can read about possible therapists and see photos, they can get a sense that it's not so scary. (If you're nervous, this will also help you feel more comfortable with the process as well.)
3. If you're struggling in your relationship with your teen, is there someone else they're close to that could help broach the subject? Having an older sibling, aunt, uncle, the other parent or a coach mention that they noticed they're struggling and encourage support may help your teen feel less like they're being "talked at" and more like they're being cared for.
We're here to support you and your teen
It's difficult to watch your teen struggle. Or to find out from a teacher or coach that they think something is wrong and you haven't seen the same signs.
Whether it's isolation, difficulty disconnecting from video games or social media, trouble with friends, problematic mood fluctuations, changes in their behavior or something else you're seeing, therapy can be a resource. Just like young kids and speech therapy, the sooner you can provide help and support to your struggling teen, the more likely they are to be able to gain the tools and resources needed to reduce risk and thrive.
If you're concerned about your teen and interested in therapy, we're here for you. Feel free to reach out for a free consultation and schedule an appointment.
To schedule a free consultation with our Teen Therapist or ask a question, visit the contact page to send us a message!
Talk soon,
Lori