How to make decisions and stop second-guessing yourself
What do I wear?
Can I hit snooze one more time?
Should me kid get at timeout for that?
Is it time to break up with my partner?
We make a TON of decisions every single day.
They can be stressful.
Especially the life-altering ones.
But they don't have to be.
The more you practice how to make decisions, the more at-ease you'll feel facing them.
And the more confident you'll be with the decision you've made.
If you're finding yourself struggling when making decisions I'm going to do my best to help you stop second guessing yourself at every turn!
You make choices every day. Some big, some small. Some trivial, some life-changing.
It tends to be the decisions that pose a threat or risk to your Comfort Zone that you likely have the most trouble with.
Decision-making is a key issue often discussed in therapy!
With time & practice, you can learn to tune into your intuition and make decisions with more
confidence & ease.
While I want to help my clients as much as possible, it's not up to me to influence or make decisions for them.
I cannot teach my clients how to predict the future. (Pssh, I would if I could!)
And because there are no crystal balls in life, we can only make a choice based on available information, the vision we have for our lives, our values and our feelings.
5 STEPS TO PRACTICE SO YOU MAKE DECISIONS AND NOT SECOND GUESS YOURSELF
Pause ~ When you're struggling with a decision, it's likely it'll be at the forefront of your mind. No matter what you're doing, it weighs on you and distracts you from living in the moment. So pause and take a deep breath. Try not to make decisions when you're highly emotional or immediately after being faced with a choice. If you can wait to make the decision, allow yourself to come back and deal with it later. The last thing you want to do is to try making a choice when you're not "in a good place." Once you've calmed down or gotten some space from the decision, return to the issue and try to make a the choice from a more logical perspective. There's power in the pause!
Reflect on the question ~ What exactly are you trying to decide? Sometimes there's the decision-at-hand, and sometimes there's a deeper issue. Make sure you understand what you're truly contemplating. If you can, close your eyes and take a moment to reflect. Play it out in your mind and think through if there is something else you need to figure out.
Pay attention ~ This is where your intuition may really kick in, if it hasn't already. Pay attention and allow yourself to be receptive to any thoughts, words or images. Start tuning into the gut feeling you have about the options and possible results.
Use your senses ~ Let yourself see, hear, smell, taste and feel anything that may come to you subconsciously. It may sound "fluffy", but your senses can help you tune into what's in your best interest and what feels aligned with your life.
Ask yourself a different question ~ Ask yourself (out loud if possible, so you can hear how it sounds!) things that may help you clarify your decision. What do you need to know in order to feel better about the decision? What kind of clarity do you need to have a sense of peace? When we ask better and/or different questions we get different answers!
Learn to listen to your gut and trust it.
When you've taken options, circumstances, values & your lifestyle/vision into consideration, make sure you're not discounting your feelings.
That Gut Feeling kicks in when you start to make a decision.
You know it when it happens . . .
Pretend I had a Snickers in one hand and a KitKat in the other, and asked you which one you wanted. No matter which one you chose, you're either going to be excited when I hand it over or immediately bummed out because you wanted the other one.
It's a simple gut-reaction telling you that you've either made a choice you're happy about or to reconsider.
Practice the steps outlined above the next time you're faced with a tough decision, but you can also practice these any time you're struggling.
Notice I didn't mention consulting with anyone else.
There are times when asking someone for their opinion can be a good idea, but we need to be comfortable and confident making our own decisions.
Learning to make decisions and decreasing the amount of second-guessing is empowering and can help you grow beyond your comfort zone!
To make an appointment or ask a question, visit the contact page to send us a message!
Talk soon,
Lori